Look, Ma, no hands!
I’m Just Sayin’
by SHEILA SMITH
In Tuesday’s edition of the Jennings Daily News, you probably learned something new, as did I, thanks to a front-page story.
It went a little something like this: a guy was riding his bicycle but not using his hands. Apparently, it is a violation of state law to ride a bicycle (or unicycle or tricycle, I’m guessing), without keeping your hands on the bars. So, a city police officer stopped the guy and throughout the course of the conversation and subsequent pat-down, the officer found 12 rocks of crack cocaine on the “look, Ma, no hands!” guy.
Did you know that was illegal (not the crack but the no-hands thing)? Neither did I. I was suddenly brought back to many years of bike riding in my youth where I apparently broke the law time and time again.
So, with this newfound knowledge, I decided to look into what other, er, interesting laws exist in the state. (Don’t get me wrong; a law was broken and I am thankful drugs were taken off the street. But I would like to be up to date on odd laws in the event I ever – I don’t know – sneeze while driving my car and FBI agents start falling from the sky.)
So I want to share some of what I found with you so you can protect yourself. It’s already a crazy world and if we don’t want to further the madness, here are some things we should not do in Louisiana. These laws may or may not still be on the books but it’s worth considering.
• We should not instruct a pizza delivery guy to deliver a large pepperoni pizza with extra cheese to our friends without our friends’ knowledge (RS 14:68.6). Specifically, it is unlawful for a person to intentionally place an order for any goods or services to be supplied or delivered to another person if it is not a gift; the receiver has to pay for the goods or services without previously agreeing to do so; or the sneaky person placing the order is doing it to “harass or annoy” the person receiving the goods or services.
(I guess you could say the law also means it’s illegal to annoy someone, which puts a damper on many of my plans.)
So, if you ever decide to prank someone by secretly sending a supreme pizza to their house and they refuse to pay, get ready: violating that law could cost up to $500 in fines (plus the pizza cost.)
That’s a really expensive pizza.
• Sham or fake boxing or wrestling matches are prohibited (RS 4:75). This makes me wonder how the WWE is still hosting annual shows at the Cajundome.
• In the City of New Orleans, biting someone with your natural teeth can lead to a charge of “simple assault.” Using your false teeth ups the ante, though, to “aggravated assault.”
• Also in New Orleans, it is illegal for those marching in Mardi Gras parades to throw spears, bomb bags, and live or dead rodents or fish. Of course, anything else is game in a New Orleans parade.
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