The Big Bang Theory

I’m Just Sayin’


I was curled in bed watching television when the “boom” sounded somewhere outside. I lifted my head toward the window and thought, “Thunder? It’s clear out tonight.”

One of my usual pre-sleep activities is scrolling through social media feeds while I await the Sandman. About five minutes after the boom, friends in the area began posting, “Did you hear it? It happened again!”

Now, when I say “in the area”, let me break this area down: Gott’s Cove, Iota, Egan, Evangeline and even the outskirts of eastern Jennings.

This isn’t just any old boom we heard; it was so powerful, people in the immediate area in Iota reported their homes shook and the sound was that of a major explosion. The Acadia Parish Sheriff’s Office (APSO) was contacted – a lot – and deputies were sent to check the area.

This isn’t the first time things have gone boom lately. A week before, residents in some areas heard the sound and weeks before, Iota/Egan/Evangeline residents were hearing what sounded like an explosion. The sounds usually take place after 9 p.m.

The thing is, no one – well, no one who’s talking, anyway – knows what is going on. Even the APSO told me they were not completely sure. No actual explosions have been reported or sited and no fires or chemical scares have taken place.

We have the right to worry, too. I mean, most people hearing explosive sounds on a weekly basis would be curious; but our area is has some remaining oil, refineries, old refineries and buried refineries. People say the natural gas smell in Evangeline is not something to fear but I think it’s a sign when the entire area smells like gas; also, Evangeline is pretty much sitting on nothing but chemicals and chemical waste. I’m surprised more of us in the area do not have webbed feet or extra arms.

The theories on the origin of the booms matter are rampant, though, and this is what I’ve heard so far: “They’re using dynamite to find oil”; “It’s the farmers, it’s what they use to keep the ducks out of their fields”; “Someone’s making meth in the woods”; and, according to what the APSO later said it just might be, tannerite, which is a highly explosive material used in target practice that is apparently not illegal.

If someone is using dynamite to find oil, good luck. We’re all pretty sure Evangeline’s oil heyday (because that is the true birthplace of Louisiana Oil, not Jennings) is over and what remains is only left on a small oil lease.

If the farmers are actually using something so loud in their fields, they can’t be combating ducks; they have to be fighting off pterodactyls.

I doubt it’s meth; there would be fire and HazMat crews filling the area, along with a variety of law enforcement agencies.

Could it be tannerite? I have no experience with whatever it is but country people love a variety of shooting targets; the bigger the bang, the better.

I mean, there is the possibility it’s aliens or Homeland Security drones, too.

Whatever the reason, it would be really nice if whoever is causing the big bangs could do it during daylight hours. We’re not out to spoil anyone’s fun but when we’re getting ready for bed and the ground shakes, it kind of makes you wonder if North Korea has finally launched missiles and for some reason has chosen rural Acadia Parish as its target.

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Posted by on Mar 13 2013. Filed under Editorial Columns. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

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