Desperately chasing the sugar high

I’m Just Sayin’


In my life, I have never seen so many adults become downright angry over Halloween activities being rescheduled.

There is something about the prospect of getting free candy for their kids that makes adults lose their minds. You would think the government powers came together and cancelled Christmas.

Tuesday, my cell phone kept ringing and buzzing with friends and family desperate to know what the Halloween situation was in Jeff Davis Parish.

“My kids are going to lose it if they can’t go trick-or-treating,” one friend told me.

“Why don’t you just wait until the day after Halloween and buy them bags of clearance candy?” I asked. “They just want the candy and they’ll never wear those costumes again.”

“It’s not the same,” she said sadly.

“You’ll think differently when the sugar high sets in or you find half-eaten candy stuck to various items in your house,” I replied.

Another friend was upset because, though Halloween activities in her area had been moved to tonight, Wednesday, she had already made plans and would be unable to take her little boy out.

After counting on my fingers, I said, “He’s 10 months old. He can’t really do anything for Halloween -”

“It’s his first Halloween!” she bellowed.

I’m sure he will always remember that Halloween he missed before he was even a year old.

I’m no child psychologist but I’m pretty sure kids will survive if they can’t go trick-or-treating this year. I don’t know how they will fare with the increased violence, watered-down education and terrorist threats that grow worse every year; but they’ll survive being Halloween-less.

I also know most kids in this area have had Halloween activities at school and area churches where they have been able to wear costumes and get candy. I know this because my nephews have already filled three small buckets with candy.

“You got any Dots?” I asked, peeking over the oldest nephew’s shoulder.

Hunching over his bucket, he said, “Yes, and I’m eating them!”

“Fine,” I snapped. “I’ll just wait until the day after Halloween and buy a whole bag of Dots on clearance. And you can’t have any.”

He stuck his tongue at me.

I stuck my tongue back at him, because I’m not raising him and his brothers, so I really can’t be blamed if they have bad manners.

And, later, when he wasn’t looking, I stole a box of Dots. And they were delicious.

I guess I’m not concerned about Halloween or those desperate to take kids candy hunting because I never participated in trick-or-treating growing up; it just wasn’t a part of my life, so there’s no tradition for me to continue.

I was pretty much brought up in a culture where dressing as a princess and going from house to house asking for candy meant you were covertly worshipping Satan and were likely going to burn in hell.

Deep down I always thought, “I don’t understand how my love for miniature chocolate bars means I love the devil.”

But maybe Halloween and trick-or-treating are necessities for kids. Had I been exposed to trick-or-treating, maybe I wouldn’t be stealing miniature candy from my nephews today.

No matter what, I wish all the kiddos in this area a fun and happy Halloween filled with good candy and safe travels.

(And, parents, please believe me when I say this column was written with lighthearted intentions and for entertainment purposes only. I was almost ripped to shreds Tuesday when I made the mistake of telling three mothers that I couldn’t understand the big deal about Halloween activities being cancelled or rescheduled.)

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Posted by on Oct 30 2013. Filed under Editorial Columns. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

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