Elections would be more fun if candidates physically fought

I’m Just Sayin’


The editor asked if so-and-so was up for re-election this year but I did not know. So I moseyed on over to the Secretary of State’s web site to find out what was up for grabs this year. The answer: pretty much everything but Welsh and Fenton positions and the police jury seats.

The pro of working in Jeff Davis Parish (JDP) during a major election year is that I do not live in JDP. So, when the politicians are swarming around, asking for votes, as they approach me with a gleam in their eye and a hand held out for a shake, I can always yell, “Acadia voter!” and they immediately run away.

The con of working in JDP during an election year is that I can tell you every single candidate who is running for which office in JDP, but I always walk blindly into the voting booth in Acadia Parish.

“I don’t even know who these people are,” I mumble while staring at the electronic ballot. “And I don’t even know what this is that I am supposed to say ‘yay’ or ‘nay’ to….Wait, renew a tax? When did that tax even pass?”

Sometimes my neighbors and friends in Acadia will ask, “Hey, do you know what’s going on with this issue or that issue?”

My answer is usually, “No, but I can name every park located in Jeff Davis.” I’m not even sure what day the garbage truck passes in my neighborhood. I’m a dedicated worker but I am obviously an uninformed citizen. (Sorry, Acadia. I still pay my property taxes if it makes you feel better.)

Anyway, just to give all of you in JDP (and the outlying Acadia areas of Crowley, Iota, Estherwood, Mermentau, Morse and Basile) a heads up, you are going to be bombarded by massive amounts of handbills, flyers, billboards, commercials, radio ads, posters and yard signs around August and early September through November. You will have strangers approaching your house campaigning for so-and-so and you will run into people at the grocery store and gas pump who ask, “Would you consider voting for me?”

You will also lose friends (and maybe even your job) because you are voting for Candidate A while your friend or boss is voting for Candidate B.

Since we have to vote on a U.S. senator and U.S. representative this year as well, you can bet there are going to be mudslinging ads everywhere, too.

Then of course, there is the subtle mudslinging that does not name names but clearly refers to the incumbent. There are also overused phrases everywhere like “a new day,” “a better tomorrow,” “a better future,” “taking back (community, parish, state or country),” “moving forward together,” and what have you. There are also the photos or commercials everywhere with candidates and their families. (Because if someone is single or has no children, I’m just not voting for them.  It’s un-American.)

I really wish candidates and politicians were as blunt as New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie, though I don’t exactly agree with all his political actions or beliefs. One thing I love about Christie is that he is not afraid to bluntly share what he thinks about a person. He will call a fellow Republican stupid and not think twice, and that in a way makes him my hero, bridge “scandal” or not.

I would be much more inclined to vote for a local candidate if they would openly say, “The other people in this race are some of the dumbest and most inexperienced human beings I have ever encountered. A vote for any of them is a vote for stupidity.”

I would immediately ask, “Where do I sign up to work on your campaign?” (I can’t actually do that because Jennings Daily News employees are not allowed to campaign for any candidate, but I can dream of finding a candidate who is not afraid to open his mouth.)

After all, sitting through debates or broadcasts where the candidates are all saying, “My challenger is a wonderful person. They offer much in this position. However, I feel at this time they are not the best suited individual to meets the needs of the people,” is boring.

Someone throw a punch already and show me what you can really do.

Short URL: https://www.jenningsdailynews.net/?p=25411

Posted by on Feb 19 2014. Filed under Editorial Columns. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

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