Left foot, right foot

In My Own Little World


Do you ever doubt your instinctive ability to get from point A to point B without stumbling in between? I do. I do all of the time. Because, you see, I’m a natural born klutz. I literally stare at my feet as I’m taking each step to make sure I connect firmly with the ground each and every time that I place one foot in front of the other. If I don’t, there’s a high likelihood that I will misstep, trip, or that my feet will literally slide out from under me. It happens all of the time. There is even video surveillance footage of one of my most famous tumbles. I’m not sure if that’s normal.

To make matters worse, I love high heels. I mean I just totally LOVE them. I’m a whopping 5ft 2in tall and it’s my only opportunity to pretend that I’m taller than I actually am, without standing on a step stool. I wore them every day for several years at my last job. I had a reputation for being so well balanced in them that I could literally run up and down a flight of spiral stairs in four-inch heels. However, I couldn’t walk though a completely empty hallway without slipping on nothing and landing face down, behind up, in a skirt, in front of video surveillance, in a public building hallway. True story.

I’ve recently had to limit wearing my beloved high heels to almost ‘never’ because I can’t seem to prevent myself from teetering precariously with each passing step. Is it age? Have I become complaisant? I have to remain almost painfully aware of my footing as I take each step. Left foot. Right food. Left foot. Right foot. Do you know how difficult it is getting to maintain a dignified gait while remaining upright? There’s nothing sexy about walking in high heels if you look like a newborn giraffe.

But it isn’t just wearing high heals. If there’s a crack in the sidewalk, or a pothole in a parking lot, you can bet that I will find it. But I won’t notice it until I’m falling over it, or into it. High heals or not.

I’ve recently limited my heal height to a slight one inch wedge, and guess what happened yesterday? I tripped three times on the way to my vehicle after work. I have no idea how it happened. At all.

So if you ever encounter me on the side walk or walking along out in public and you see me staring at the ground instead of making eye contact. Forgive me. I’m not trying to be anti social. I’m just watching the ground in front of me while I try to stay upright. So please feel free to stop me and let me know that you are there. In the meantime, I will be watching the ground before me, monitoring my footing. Left foot. Right foot. Left foot. Right foot.

Short URL: https://www.jenningsdailynews.net/?p=28318

Posted by on Aug 22 2014. Filed under Editorial Columns. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

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