Your own peace starts with you

In My Own Little World by Aubrey Broussard

“You made me mad, so you made me do it.”

I don’t know about any of you, but when I hear this excuse, and yes, it’s an excuse, the first thing I think of is a situation of abuse. For me, I specifically think of any form of domestic abuse, but in reality, it can apply to any type of conflict.

I was in an emotionally, psychologically and even physically abusive relationship in the earlier years of my adult life. Albeit brief, compared to the greater portion of my existence, it was substantial enough to make an eve lasting impression on the woman I would ultimately become and had a permanent effect the very people I love most in the world. Although I’m much stronger, having adapted healthier coping skills to deal with the emotional damage sustained during those years, I still deal with the ramifications of that toxic relationship to this day. It’s a painful challenge.

During those tumultuous years, I became familiar with that response anytime a conflict arose. Because I’m still forced to maintain a somewhat amicable degree of interaction with this individual, there are times when I still hear different variations of this favorite go-to excuse. I know now the ultimate goal is to blame others for the emotions or reactions of an unstable mind. What it really all comes down to is a lack of self-control.

All too often, we all sometimes blame the actions of others for our own reaction to any particular issue, problem, conflict or confrontation, especially when regarding something with which we have a specifically painful connection or memory. I know I’ve been guilty. We all have been, or are, to some degree. Whenever I’m tempted to blame my own feelings, frustration or reaction on an outside force, no matter how understandable, I think of the first line typed in this column.

So on that note, I will deliver a very real, even somewhat bitter, dose of reality in a sugar-coated world: No one is responsible for the way you act or react, to any stimuli or irritant, but you; even if your response is justified. In our overly-sensitive, over-triggered, overly-excused society, it seems too many people have forgotten that no matter what anyone else does or says to or about you, or how anyone makes you feel, the cold hard reality is, it’s not ok for adults to react in an irrational, irresponsible, inconsiderate and disrespectful manner.

That’s how children behave.

That’s just what it’s like in my little world.

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Posted by on Jan 17 2018. Filed under Editorial Columns. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

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